pure heart

fren: so how's your love life like?

me: like a dead man's pulse.

been coughing my lungs out the whole day because I didn't dare drink the cough mixture.  But interestingly it doesn't seem to have much effect on me now...which....is a pity because the drowsiness puts me to sleep well.

The work day ended on a low note. school of crap (go figure the abbreviation) is a place that I will never ever enrol myself in, even if it's the last place on earth to do a masters.  And of course the hunger took precedence over work, and I had mushroom chicken pie and a peach tart for tea.  need to drop a polite reply back tomorrow.

took my time and figured out a way to attach and link and embed files in a pdf file.  sometimes, the time to do such 'trivial' stuff can really be painful.

another day, another week ending.  That's another day of my life.  But many people end up looking at time like it belongs to work.  I am like that, but I am correcting myself. 

Walking from the station to work, I walk the less trodden path, to avoid people and to get some air.  I cannot stand crowds and the natural instinct is to walk away from them, even if it means straying from conventions, seeking some unbeaten paths.  But I like that, to see what most people don't or can't.  

I surprise myself at how little control I have over myself sometimes.  Or at how calm I can be when the most affecting news is broken to me. But I tear easily, at the things people say too cliche to be touching. I am touched easily, but not surprised easily at all.  

I am looking for a pure heart -- like the one super mario found (7 in all) to save the world.  I believe in it, although pureness is masked in the real world, and more often than not, by the need to protect oneself.  I had found a pure heart before, but I think in the attempt to protect itself more and more against the society, I was kept out of the inner sanctuary.  Hence I could not interact and communicate with the pure heart that I loved.   In the midst of everything I can sense and I believe in myself more now.  Because I have been right many times in the past, but I did not believe in myself.  Now, I have the courage to believe in myself.

I loved the way the Alchemist described the heart.  "You will never be able to escape from your heart.  So it's better to listen to what it has to say.  That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow."

"Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him.  We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them.  We speak of them only to children.  Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, towards its own fate.  But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them -- the path to their destinies, and to happiness.  Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place."  

But my own take is, don't read too much religion into what he writes.  Take what is written as it is written.  Just like Tuesdays with Morrie.  As it is, without further interpretation.