I am liberated. Really liberated. And i will not think any further to it. The anger and frustration i felt abt myself has finally passed. My persistance lost to stubbornness. i am still a rational person. why it took so long to reach this realization, i don't know. maybe i'm just slow, or in denial, or slow and in denial. Doubling your bet on the same thing only works when you have enough capital. I don't. When the odds are obviously against me, i should leave the table a graceful loser.