indulgence

now i know why ppl get high on cough mixtures. they are incredibly potent and just 10ml of it almost knockedme out. the decongestant helped, but now only for a short while, and when i cough, there phelgm taste is there ;s...very gross.

med makes me feel weak...but need to take them to feel better... there's some price to pay for the moment of indulgence.

Currently at chapter 3 of "A heartbreaking work of staggering genius" lent by my bestest. shouldn't take too long, but the way it's written is kind of like one long breath of rambling.  Not sure how it'll end up though.  

"By your side" by sade, is those kind of grooves you can just sit back to on a breezy beach cafe and feel good about yourself.

horoscopes from Jeanette Winterson's website says that i will be more insistent and forceful in September than I often am.  No saying on whether that is a boon or a bane, i guess it all depends on the handler. there are things that i should insist on, because i have let opportunities slip by before. i have this fear that it is deja vu all over again.

I asked a question before, on how you know when the right person comes along.  You will know because in a split second of many faces, you only see one person's face effortlessly, like a homing device programmed to search and target only one.  the human's ability to perform face/human recognition is amazing.  Yet, indulgence in foolishness is something i remind myself to avoid.

it is a contradictory concept, indulgence in moderation.  yet it is the right thing to do for many things. but i dun really like this concept, because i like to indulge fully in whatever i do. otherwise, and the difference probably lies in that i will want to enjoy (and therefore indulge myself in the enjoyment) and put in all i've got in that moment.  but the concept of indulge in moderation is more of an restrain in the actions you do. you can indulge in the moment all you want, but don't over-indulge in the activity itself and end up with an addiction of some sort.

Somehow the extension of portfolio has not hit me yet.  maybe they have forgotten about me, the extra 0.3 headcount they have. i don't even have access to the freaking secured room.  not that there is any real motivation to go in there.  i am using the time now to plan and chart my own future.  the personal statement is now ready, only waiting for the damn scores to come in.

i must start training harder this weekend, after my stupid sinus gets decongested and i can breathe properly.