i discovered i was cutting corners today at work. It made me feel disappointed that I had degenerated. I thought hard about what that happened. But all in all, the reasons don't matter. It is my choice, and I will not fall any further. Expectations of myself are set by myself, and I choose to only be the best and to give my best.  

Whether it is the lack of stimulus, or the lack of things to focus on. The unexpended energy I shall channel to do something productive. Find something to work on. Those cannot be the excuses on letting standards fall at all. It's good that the internal alarm got trigggered today, because for some reasons I had let my guard down and drifted with the current. I can only say that when limits are not pushed, they contract and become lower. I know I can do so much more and drifting along is not what I want at all.

After settling the serious mental/internal state for myself, physically I haven't totally recovered. Sinus situation still hovering around, and after I got home, my sinus was blocked up, giving a pressure headache below the right eye. Bestest gave me a flu pill that her doc gave her. That, with the cough mixture, is a knocking me out. right now my body is pretty relaxed, and the sinus is clearing, which is good. i was to finish and write down somethings but the med is.....a bit strong. I just hope i don't dream of doing muay thai again, and end up waking up with a leg cramp. yes that happened this morning, when i dreamt that i was doing muay thai, and as i was about to kick, my calf cramped up in the non-lala land.