somewat not sure about roughing it out

First thing, about the party today, I need to complain on inflexibility, ask-(idiotic)qns-and-provide-no-solutions and boh chupness. yup that just about summarized it all.

Second thing is, i figured out another thing on why marriage and me don't click. I just told a friend today that you can't believe when (and what) another person promises you about the future. e.g. Let's try again and things will be better this time blah blah blah. That's why I never want to hear my partner telling me "I will love you forever." because I can't believe that it is the truth, because forever is not very real to me. Not because for the lack of trust, but maybe it is just me. And marriage is such a promise, just look at the marriage vows, full of promises. I don't like to make promises I can't keep, and I expect the same from others. So I try to say what I mean and mean what I say to my very very best effort. I believe in love definitely. To be able to marry someone you love, for love alone sounds heavenly. But in reality, love alone is not enough. Trust, honesty, responsibility, communication etc, makes marriage work. Love is supposed to be the prerequisite. I will be happy to just be able to find someone who is able to have all of that with me, and want to spend the rest of our lives together.

Last thing is that I am having many second thoughts about roughing it out for the cycling trip with a bunch of kids. I am too old to be in the group. I will stand out like a sore thumb and it will be freakingly painfully awkward. What have I gotten myself into.