16.6km in 2hr 6min. Didn't really cared about the time, but more on the distance I actually covered.  Told myself not to care about the timing when I ran today, just stretch my distance as much as possible.  So I have no qualms about clocking such timing.  I practically crawled back to big splash, my finishing point. I cannot imagine doing another 4.4km to make up a half-marathon.  That will take me maybe another 30mins?  My legs are shaky now.

Haruki Murakami's What I talk about when I talk about running

My friend passed me this book in an attempt for me to replace him for the stanchart marathon because his knees are injured. While I will be very impressed with myself if I were to complete a full marathon, I think more training and preparation has to be done for an attempt than 1 week's notice. I will do it when I am ready.

People who want to read the book may not want to look at the quotes below, the only purpose of my puting them down here is for my own easy reference in the future.

Some meaningful lines from the book:

1. Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional. 
2. ...I stop every day right at the point where I feel I can write more.  Do that , and the next day's work goes surprisingly smoothly. ...... To keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm.  This is the important thing for long-term projects.  Once you set the pace, the rest will follow.  The problem is getting the flywheel to spin at a set speed -- and to get to that point takes much concentration and effort as you can manage.
3. I just run.  I run in a void.  Or maybe I should put it in the other way: I run in order to aquire a void.  But as you might expect, an occasional thought will slip into this void.  People's minds can't be a complete blank.  Human beings' emotions are not strong or consistent enough to sustain a vacuum.  What I mean is, the kinds of thoughts and ideas that invade my emotions as I run remain subordinate to that void.  Lacking content, they are just random thoughts that gather around that central void.
4. Can I laugh at Mick Jagger?  No way,  I just happen not to be a young rock singer.  Nobody remembers what stupid things I might have said back then, so they're not about to quote them back at me.  That is the only difference.
5. Forgive me for stating the obvious, but the world is made up of all kinds of people.  Other people have their own values to live by, and the same holds true with me.  These differences give rise to disagreements, and the combination of these disagreements can give rise to even greater misunderstandings.
6. When I'm criticized unjustly (from my viewpoint, at least), or when someone I'm sure will understand me doesn't, I go running for a little longer than usual.  By running longer it's like I can physically exhaust that portion of my discontent.  It also makes me realize again how weak I am, how limited my abilities are. I become aware, physically, of these low points.  And one of the results of running a little farther than usual is that I become much stronger. If  I'm angry, I direct that anger toward myself. If I have a frustrating experience, I use that to improve myself.  That's the way I've always lived. I quietly absorb the things I'm able to, releasing them later, and in as changed a form as possible, as part of the story line in a novel.
7. I never could stand being forced to do something I didn't want to do at a time I didn't want to do it.  Whenever I was able to do something I liked to do, though, when I wanted to do it, and the way I wanted to do it, I'd give it everything I had.
8. I'm struck by how, except when you're young, you really need to priortize in life, figuring out in what order you should divide up your time and energy.  If you don't get that sort of system set by a certain age, you'll lack focus and your life will be out of balance.
9. But when I think about it, having the kind of body that easily puts on weight was perhaps a blessing in disguise.  In other words, if I don't want to gain weight I have to work out hard everyday, watch what I eat, and cut down on indulgences.  Life can be tough, but as long as you don't stint on the effort, your metabolism will greatly improve with these habits, and you'll end up much healthier, not to mention stronger. ... ... But people who naturally keep the weight off no matter what don't need to exercise or watch their diet in order to stay trim.  There can't be many of them who would go out of their way to take these troublesome measures when they don't need to.  Which is why, in many cases, their physical strength deteriorates as they age.  If you don't exercise, your muscles will naturally weaken, as will your bones. ... ... We should consider ourselves lucky that the red light is so clearly visible.  OF course, it's not always easy to see things this way.
10. There are three reasons I failed.  Not enough training.  Not enough training. And not enough training. ... ... Without knowing it, I'd developed a sort of arrogant attitude, convinced that just a fair-to-middling amount of training was enough for me to do a good job.  It's pretty thin, the wall separating healthy confidence and unhealthy pride.  
11. Muscles really are like animals, and they want to take it as easy as possible; if pressure isn't applied to them, they relax and cancel out the memory of all that work.  Input this canceled memory once again, and you have to repeat the whole journey from the beginning.
12. I have only a few reasons to keep on running, and a truckload of them to quit.  All I can do is keep those few reasons nicely polished.
13. Focus -- the ability to concentrate all your limited talent on whatever's critical at the moment. ... ... without focus you can't accomplish anything.
14. In any event, I'm happy I haven't stopped running all these years.  The reason is, I like the novels I've written.  And I'm really looking forward to seeing what kind of novel I'll produce next.  Since I'm a writer with limits -- an imperfect person living an imperfect, limted lift -- the fact that I can still feel this way is a real accomplishment.
15. This is my body, with all its limits and quirks.  Just as with my face, even if I don't like it, it's the only one I get, so i've got to make to. ... ... As you age you learn even to be happy with what you have.  That's one of the few good points of growing older.

on DB and running

dragonboat is a deceiving sport. Seemingly simple, you just row. 1) Getting each stroke right is the fundamental thing every rower has to do. 2) Then comes the strength of your strokes, and 3) how long you can maintain that strength for every correct stroke. That is about all I care for, for an amateur like me. Things like starts and getting the boat the glide etc etc, come later. Like what I thought before, getting 20 people to accomplish all 1), 2) and 3) is a great feat, but if possible, a great team can be formed.

Physique naturally plays a great part in this, and I must say my understanding of dragonboating has changed tremendously after 9 plus months of rowing. The constant reminder that not being able to pull your own weight in the boat equals a burden to the rest is also a useful way to tell myself to become stronger.

The thing about dragonboat is that everything you do (for training) get used in a race. Weights you lift in the gym are used as strength in a race. Runs that you go for translates to endurance to last the entire distance in the race. (If the entire team does this, then of course the race will be easier, and timing will be better.) Simple translation. It's not like badminton where you do all kinds of drills, the defenses, the attacks, the smashes, lobs, nets, drops, pushes, the feigns, fancy and non-fancy shots. But not all get used in a match. But of course I appreciate badminton for its burst, adrenaline and different types of gameplay that makes the game so endearing. But yet the simplicity of dragonboat can be addictive, that's why I say it is deceiving.

A friend passed me Haruki Murakami's What I talk about when I talk about running. Many quotable lines in time which I will post soon.

what do u do when there are things you want to say but can't

when there are things you understand but can't accept

things that you can't accept because you don't understand

i ran 9.4km today in 1h 05min == aching legs

Regatta 2008

Regatta's over, I guess it can be marked as an event to mention in 2008 for me. After all this is the race that I had trained for the last few months. It was the thing that I went to gym regularly for, and even ran regularly.

A rowing competition seems simple, 5 boats, 20/10 men in each boat, and you compete. But it is actually very difficult to win. For 20 ppl to be in the same boat and do the same thing, to want the same thing, and lastly to put in what they need to put in to achieve the results that all the people in the boat wants, is a feat. Maybe it's because sometimes people think of it as a simple sport. It actually is a straightforward one, but straightforward one doesn't mean it's requires little effort.

Now I feel like going to the gym more often, doing more weights, and run to become fitter. I hope everybody trains harder to gain the strength we need to win.

Pics@facebook

Good Writings

At work, I remind myself to make writings

• Clear
• Concise
• Accurate
• Coherent
  
• Appropriate in tone

In a paper, your job as a writer is to ensure that your information leaves an impression with your reader, and causes an influence. It is most important to put across the meaning and significance of your key message.

Notes of writing paper:

1. Don't tell your readers what they already know, unless it's context.
2. Always address your reader's concern e.g., if your reader is always concerned about money, address it.
3. Always find out who is the one reading your paper and craft it with strategy.
4. Accuracy is the minimum threshold, you hold all responsibility for the accuracy of facts and figures mentioned.
5. Quote sources of data.
6. You only select and stress part of your content.
7. Change different styles for different audiences.
8. Grammar is a given as well.
   
9. Make writing crisp - to the point, concise, clear and coherent.

A quote from an instructor sums it up nicely
"When you go into a shooting range, it doesn't matter how many bullets you have, or how powerful your gun is. What matters most is that you hit your target. If not, you will only succeed in making a lot of noise."

Other guide for report writing with a defined problem:

• Put objective in writing
• Outline position
• Describe problem
• Examine possibilities
• Put forward proposals
• Use short sentences & paragraph
  

tired

getting loads and loads of info from new work. and am burning my brains out getting reacquainted with codes. codes are still fine, but assembly language?! am reading all over the place on scripts and registries and analysis tools. it's just the lack of sleep and time, otherwise, this really isn't that bad. i just got to figure out how to shine in the new place fast. too many experts there while me, a noob. but i ain't going down.

my mind obviously runs too many strings of thought simultaneously. when that happens, it is, in other words, known as short attention span. or frequently disrupted or interrupted thoughts. very much like how your computer works, via interrupts. no joke, but this is ALL geek talk. I usually try to suppress it (the frequently interleaving thoughts), but lunchtime it happened again, i was reading on malware analysis and slipstreaming SP3 to make an iso image for installation in the virtual machine, when the thoughts below just emerged and took over for a while, so i wrote it down below. (Yeah all those in italics, i picked them up in a span of a week. i wonder how far down the geek road i can venture ...my guess is...as far as i want to).

Here goes:
They say that the aggregation of minds, brights ones especially, sparks innovation. Ideas develop quickly and motivated & intelligent people will drive their ideas to fruition with zest and passion. The system of reward and performance measurement however, counters such a phenomenon. Individuals are pitted against one another and ranked relative to each other in individual-based appraisals. This creates subtle hostility and thus, instead, high potential individuals are placed relatively apart and well-distributed within the organization. These individuals can the supposedly 'thrive' in the lesser competition, or possibly bring up the overall quality of work in his or her proximity.

I opine that lesser competition leads to lesser innovation and cannot support fully the assumption that 1 individual is able to cause such a 'change agent' effect and cause an overwhelming change. Incremental improvements are possible, compared with the overall leap when the 'smart ones' together are lumped together, organizations (depending on type, focus etc) may have more to benefit from quantum leaps of innovation as compared to incremental organizational improvements. That is probably why the high-performance management consulting firms only want the best to join them and form the crowd of only the best.

and i mentioned i am lacking of sleep now..

Different people brings out the different characteristics in the same individual. Maybe that is why some people observe that when someone is with another person, he/she behaves different as compared to when he or she is alone with friends, or in a previous relationship etc.. It may not be that the person whom you are with changed you. I think of it more like a magnifying glass, but different people magnify different aspects of you. It may be possible, but I don't know if it is desired, for somebody to stay exactly the same, before being in a relationship and while in a relationship. Interactions with people are supposed to affect us to a certain extent, but of course we can't let people walk all over our lives and make us behave 180 degrees differently, that would seem unnatural.

With this in mind, I guess the person I want to be with will be someone who can bring out the best in me. And even more so better if I can do the same for her as well. After all why affect each other for the worse right.

Like Tuesdays with Morrie, sometimes i feel like knowing what others would say at my eulogy, to know what they know me as, and what they remember me by. If would be good to know it while i am alive and healthy and well, to remind me to be more than what people remember me by, to do more good and be a better person than what i think i am capable of.

the thing about Obama wining the presidency... I think we only know if it is really THAT good when we know what he can do, after hearing what he can say. But as I was telling a friend, at the very least he managed to motivate the Americans, and a whole bunch of other people

ate the bullet

I feel like such a sorry little ass right now. I ate the bullet, and said I will move over to the other dept and got asked some trick question which I don't know if I answered correctly.

have a goddamn head that feels like it's going to explode. Ate 2 mouthful of dinner to find a caterpillar in the vege, and mcdonald delivery said they will take an hour to deliver. A fucking hour?!

I have not whimpered nor growled since the coding madness in uni. The unknown is scary, so is uncertainty. But there is no point having second thoughts now since I decided to bite the fucking bullet. It's time to raise to the occasion.

learn to live with stress.

As we grow older, it become inevitable that we take on more responsibilities, more burdens, whether by choice or not.  some choices have 1 option (i.e., no choice), but it is the right thing to do.  It is all too easy to lose yourself and wallow in self-pity of why-am-i-not-a-millionaire, why-am-i-not-able-to-do-the-things-i-like and why-do-i-have-to-do-everything.  Too easy. Such naive emotions spill out because on most days you act like an adult.  But being a real adult is not just acting like one.  It is taking the difficult responsibilities, the heavy burdens, alone if it has to be.  It is scary and stressful and can make people unhappy if they don't know how to cope with it.  It makes sense to feel overwhelmed because it is the first time you take on such heavy things.  But I guess you will get used to the load and become stronger with it.  Just like how we train in the gym, when we stretch our limits, it is difficult, but we grow.

So, learn to live with stress and make the stress work for you.  Make it the motivation and the drive to continue the journey in life.  

sometimes i understand how smart alecs feel.  their mentality is that why bother asking when you already know the expected response. but i guess when this becomes a habit, the automatic formation of assumptions can be very damaging.  So. sometimes it's better to slow down and ask one question at a time and not rely on any assumptions.

weather today is crazy. it rains through the sunshine when i was going to work. it poured when i reached office. the sun was bright during lunch. and it probably will rain later, and then the sun will come out before it sets in the evening. then it will probably rain again. And stop. And then rain when i am sleeping. freaking much like the stock market. 

kirchoff's laws

a teacher asked me about kirchoff's laws just now. and i remember what the heck those two current and voltage laws were about haha. ok to explain at jc-level, but the EEE-physics have rusted off a bit....the differential equations and integrals.....

physiotherapists

I have to many things to do, yet I choose to blog. Things to do include
1. Prioritizing the things that needs to be done
2. Finish half-read story book
3. Quant finance book
4. hacker exposed book
5. write letter of recommendation for myself for coach
6. work (is like a million things undone...but i reckon personal time is more important)

attended the council meeting today, lots of big shots came, sat at the roundtable and deliberated on manpower issues. The interesting thing was the comment on how the digital media side seems to prefer "bad" students. As in the creative ones who doesn't necessarily have the best grades. So it made me wonder...maybe the bad students get to choose what they like, and the good (academically) ones get herded to the mould factory to become lawyers, doctors, engineers, teachers. I remember in JC for a long period of time I had to go to the sports medicine centre at the national stadium 3 times a week to see the physiotherapist for my back problem. My very beautiful physiotherapist made me feel like becoming a physiotherapist myself. i still remember her name, Shwikar. I think it's because of her I never dreaded the long journey from school to the stadium. Plus I get to get some great rubs after training *grinz*

Areas of pain have now focused into very localised spots. Left ass pain. Lower right back super suan and stiff. Upper right thigh, I can't lift it up properly, strained from badminton.

I will give anything for a nice massage now....where is my physiotherapist....

Did i forget to mention that I have a broken blister on my left palm..

8 hrs of workout over the weekend

Must not do stupid things like back-to-back 2.5hr badminton after 2 hr db. That as a starting point for a 3.5hr-long db is quite hazardous for the back, which is already full of old injuries that are threatening to make themselves felt.

At bedok reservoir yesterday: I hit my thumb against the gunrail 4,5 times, resulting in a small blue black. First time that has happened, don't know why. Might be the 47" paddle.
At Sg river today: No hitting of thumb, but we saw a dead, floating rat near the pebble bay area. And the marina barrage is done?! Sg river is going to be clean?????? I errr have serious doubts as of now. Got to do something about the wide strokes though *shake head* it musn't become a chronic problem.

I think I am getting very used to being alone now. Without the need to arrange my schedule with someone else's, or planning for weekends and getaways together. It makes me wonder if I can get used to it again when I need to do so. Then that makes me wonder if I will open my heart to another person again.