early x'mas post

I err, haven't been writing. I'm not sure if that matters to anybody at all. Though I might find it a pity next time that there isn't any records of my life now. My mid-twenties life.

X'mas is coming again, coming earlier it seems, with decorations up in November and all. Well it's december already, everybody's in the mood for christmas. Just finished virtual 'poking' many of friends, a thin thin way of maintaining contact with friends. But beats no contact at all. Also just finished cleaning up my music library, the kind of thing that I have been procrastinating about: renaming the unreadable characters, putting in the right singers, titles, correcting typos, removing duplicates. Aargh I feel brain fried now although I'm pretty sure brain utilisation has been minimal today.

Maybe just to lessen the guilt or cut down the lack of regular posts, I'll make try to account for what I have been up to lately. Or how my life is looking like so far.

I have been reading a bit lately, trying to upgrade my knowledge about finance stuff. I'm pretty sure finishing a financial management fundamentals textbooks won't put my in a better position for a career change, but more knowledge is always better than less. At least that's what I believe. So after learning about how finance people make a whole lot more of money than what i'm doing now, i figured maybe that's where I should be. The desire to earn a disgustingly whole lot of money at the compromise of everything else seems reasonable to me now.

The probably only interesting thing happening in my life now is that I took up drumming. Weekly sessions where I hit to the beats and forget about everything else. I love it that I scheduled the classes on monday nights. Starts the week out on a better note, countering the omnipresence of monday blues on mondays. But that's all, if I were to draw my daily mood/state in a chart, it'll probably look like this:

The drumming keeps the Mondays more bearable. Goes downhill from there, reaching the trough on wednesdays, the mid-week syndrome. But it usually isn't that bad, unless it's a shitty week. Thursdays aren't that chirpy either, but things are looking up. Then it's a shot of ecstasy when friday ends.

Of course as of all matters, the mood graph changes according to work, meeting with friends, bosses and colleagues behaviour etc etc. But on a typical week, that how it looks like. Pretty boring.

Coupled with the recent infatuation with a particular girl band's very (at least in my infatuated mind) pretty member. I'd think what kind of life am I leading now as compare to those super stars, jet-setting around, with earnings in millions. And we're about the same age. Why am I not jet-setting and why am I not earning big bucks?

The intensity of such questioning has attenuated since a few weeks back where I was feeling a little lower than low. Now, it's just low. If I press on too much I fear I'll go crazy or depressed, none of which I want.

Ah what the heck. Another I found recently, nothing new, only some reinforced results that I am a type INTJ, who, according to mypersonality.info, has make up only 1.5% of the population, and only 0.5% of the female population. I like the description of the INTJs from their webpage, made me feel right at home.

I'm sleepy enough to go to bed. Ciao for now, hope I come back soon to document my life.

Clarity: In a forest, Team Leader says, "we need to go that way, along the river, to get to the sea"

Focus: when people are hungry and tired, asks for a rest, or along the way the team is attacked by animals, the Team Leader keeps in mind the end target: to get to the sea

Communication: in a team of 100 people, there is a need to communicate and tell the team members where we need to go to, why we need to get there, how we can get there....

Which is more important, clarity, focus, communication? All 3 are aspects of leadership...

the inconsistent blogger

Another blog. I'm the inconsistent blogger, from diary-x, to the dabbling at geocities, then blogger...started and stopped. But it's fun to to look back and read your old posts. And see what you feel four years ago, and relive the times as if you can turn back time. So that's why there's another blog now, I feel like writing, and i think I want to have the chance to recall a few years later. I am most afraid of losing memories. photos, letters help in the recalling, blogs too.

But I never thought my first post will be about this, a complaint about the govt. You see there is this lift-upgrading scheme. I don't want it, it'll be noisy, dusty, when they are knocking a hole out of the wall where we can now call it semi-private (shared with my 1 neighbour). You need to pay for it. Their argument to get people to vote for it kind of sucks, at least for me. "You see, if all the other blocks are agreeable to it and get the upgrade, which is heavily subsidised, then your unit's market valuation won't be as good as theirs." Heck, if they want the lift then go to the right floors, and choose the right blocks. My unit might be valued more than the other blocks with the extra privacy. I find it absurd that they will be building a lift shaft for the corner unit. For that ONE unit for goodness sake. Their unit's value will increase for sure, a private lift at the door.

So, I tell my mum, vote against the upgrade. AND.....yeah, the govt ppl manning the voting booth managed to persuade her to turn the vote around. Boy was I pissed. And lost my temper. I felt bad after that, for losing it at my mum, cos it was not her fault, but whoever the man/woman who obviously does not know what voting should be like. EXtra pissed because just the night before they came up to talk to us (I was the one who entertained them, my sisters were watching tv), and sold all the benefits of the lift upgrade. It felt like hard selling. I hate hard selling, I cannot stand it when people try to tell me what to do when they don't have the right, authority or my respect to do that.

Now it's too late. Sometime later I might be posting about how irritated by the upgrades.

Oh ya, before i forget, my blog url, "anergac", was the generated image when I set up the blog, sounded like word but isn't. But I used it anyway, saved me some cells to think about what nick/url/title to put. I hope I blog more often. Ciao.